21 Days of Peace for My Family
Day 1- Peace begins with YOU
How you respond to situations sets a tone in your household. A tense or anxious person cannot promote peace. But a person who makes it a habit to respond peacefully has a great impact in the atmosphere of their home. This is easier said than done, but go to your Heavenly Father and ask him to help you in this area. Ask him to show you what you are contributing to the atmosphere in your home and what you can change to help promote peace.
Day 2 - Perfect Peace
Understanding that peace starts with you, take time to evaluate what you allow to fill your mind daily. Whatever fills it is what eventually will come out. If you drown your thoughts with other people’s opinions and fears you may eventually find yourself empty of truth. Solid truth is what will keep you at peace, not the motivational meme you may occasionally read.
Social media can be an incredible source to stay connected, but evaluate who and what you are staying connected to.
Our ultimate source of truth is found in God’s Word. If I believe Isaiah 26:3 when it says “you will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you”, then I know that if I keep my mind focused, connected and firm on truth, I will have peace.
Day 3 - Start the Day with Jesus
Begin your day with Jesus. “In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Psalms 5:3
God can hear you any time of day. But there’s something special about the morning. Mornings are like new beginnings, a second chance. It’s an opportunity to make things right. If things didn’t go great yesterday with your family, you have the chance to try again. And who better to walk you through it than Jesus? Spending the morning with him is like having coffee with a great friend before getting started on your day. Talk to him.
Tell him your fears, your worries, your challenges with your spouse or your kids. Tell him about your frustrations at work, or the goals that seem out of reach. He’s there for you ready to listen and give you the guidance you need. Creating the habit of starting each day with Jesus will equip you to walk in peace through the day. It doesn’t have to take two hours, just five minutes of honest and sincere prayer can do more than years of trying to fix it yourself. Try it, he’s waiting.
Day 4 - Be Present
Clear your mind and be present for your family. This takes a conscious effort. Don’t wait to be “done with things” to sit and enjoy a moment with your children or your spouse, because something else will always pop up. You have to intentionally stop, set aside all things, look at your loved ones in the eyes and enjoy them.
Your family needs to know you are grateful to have them. Children can sense it if you feel they are a burden or you truly enjoy their presence.
If you need time to complete important tasks or work and it requires time alone, set a designated time and communicate it to your family. That way they know at that time you will be focused on something else.
But when you return to be with them, be present!
You will see and feel such a difference, not only in yourself but in them as well. The atmosphere in your home will change.
There are little moments of joy all around you. Don’t miss out!
Day 5 - We Don't have to Walk Alone
We were never meant to walk through life alone. God places wise and loving people in our path to help guide us and keep our focus on him. Talk to your pastor, ministry leader, a godly friend....these people will tell you not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Make it a habit to go to them with questions, concerns or ask them to join you in prayer.
If you are struggling with having peace in your home, talk about it don’t just bottle it in. Don’t avoid it, don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Because at the end of the day we are all human, we have all struggled and had to learn, and it’s our joy (as pastors and leaders) to share that experience with someone else.
Day 6 - Fill Your House with Worship
When you wake up in the morning, before you turn on the tv or begin to scroll through social media, worship.
Worship doesn’t need to be just about music, it is the attitude of your heart. Worship brings forth breakthroughs, it delivers from strongholds, and calls forth what is rightfully ours through our Jesus Christ.
Confess your sins and struggles to God, and come to him with a humble heart. He is a most loving and forgiving Heavenly Father.
Then confidently declare his goodness and your awe of him through your house. Let every room be filled with worship! Take your children with you as you go through each room and shout God is good!
They might find it weird, if if they are young they might think it’s a game. But whatever they’re feeling won’t compare to the beauty of the habits you are creating as a family. Teach them to boldly open their mouths and declare that God is good! And thank him for his goodness. Fill your house with worship!
Day 7 - Showing Grace
Show your spouse and your children the same grace God has shown you.
Not one of us has ever or will ever earn salvation. It is a gift freely and graciously given by a loving God who sent his son to die for us.
In our sinfulness we deserved death, but we are saved because of grace.
If a perfect Father pours out this undeserved grace, why do we sometimes act like our family should earn our good deeds or affection towards them?
We should be willing at all times to pour out an unconditional love that doesn’t focus on pointing out every wrong.
It is through this love that we will see everything we desire in our family.
Be quicker to see their strengths rather than their faults. Quicker to offer a compliment rather than utter a complaint. Quicker to forgive. Quicker to embrace. The second your heart turns to repentance, God is already waiting for you with open arms. Let’s be more like him and have that same grace for our family.
Day 8 - Our Manual for Life
There are rooms in our homes where we spend a lot of time. Maybe it’s the family room, the kitchen, a porch...wherever it is, make it a habit to have verses displayed throughout.
They can be pretty and decorative, or they can simply be written on pieces of paper. Place them in an area that your eyes go most to, that way every time you enter that space you will read the verse.
Read it, internalize it, and understand how to apply it to your life. It’s not going to be helpful if you just memorize verses without knowing what they mean.Get your family involved and discuss the verse together. Perhaps over breakfast, dinner or before bedtime. The Bible is our manual for life, it is God’s word, alive and relevant to the life we are living now.
His Word is FOREVER.
This is one of the greatest habits you can instill in yourself and your family.
Day 9 - Focus
De clutter your mind, de clutter your home. Just like our home sometimes gets full of unnecessary stuff, our minds often get full of unnecessary thoughts. These thoughts can drain us, cause us to forget important things and at the end of the day leave us feeling like we didn’t accomplish anything.
In the same way we lose things in a messy room, we lose time, productivity, and peace in a messy mind. How do we un clutter a messy mind? First we need to go to God and ask him to show us where the mess is.
What does he want us to get rid of? What thoughts are just taking up space? Are there situations in our life that he just wants us to give to him and trust him instead of carrying it all day, day after day?
Once he shows you, be assured he will give you a way out. Just like a home needs to be maintained, your thoughts need to be maintained. Focus on life giving, confident thoughts based on truth (God’s word) and throw everything else that is useless out. Don’t let it take up space and compromise your peace of mind and peace at home. While you’re at it, you can also take time to declutter your home. Our surroundings have an impact on our emotional state.
Clear things out, be willing to part with material things that are of no use.
Do it together as a family and you’ll see the difference it will make.
Home should be a pleasant space, full of life and full of peace.
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Day 10 - God of Order
Create structure in your home. It may seem like our days now have anything but structure. We don’t know what can suddenly happen overnight that will change all of our plans in an instant. But having structure in your home does not mean having each day planned down to the second. It means that you are clear on priorities and have planned ahead to ensure that those priorities are taken care of.
An essential part of peace is organization, and organization is achieved with structure. What are your basic priorities? Brushing your teeth, getting dressed etc.Then there’s spending time with God and quality time with your family. The things that are important to you, you are going to make sure you make time for. You don’t wait till “you have time” to brush your teeth, you make sure you do it as part of your morning routine because you understand its importance.
When your priorities are in order you’ll have a clearer understanding of what needs your attention the most and you can have a structure that will allow you to do that. Our God is a God of order and he expects us to be good stewards of what he has given us, and that includes time.
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Day 11 - Pray, Pray, Pray!
Pray about EVERYTHING. It seems so simple, but this is something that people seem to turn to as a last resort. This should be your first response.
When as a family you create this habit of going to prayer for everything it will eliminate a lot of stress, tension, and unnecessary struggles. God is always there willing to help you and guide your family to what’s best. He’s there to give you answers, whether it’s yes, no or not yet. When we learn to go to him, we begin to recognize his voice and abide in his peace. It’s so important to teach our children to do the same. Are you scared? Let’s pray. God is our protector. Are you worried? Let’s pray. God will provide all our needs. Are you sick? Let’s pray. God is our healer. Pray, pray, pray. After you pray, then turn to the resources around you for whatever you may need. Because it’s after praying and staying in tune with God that he will guide you to the resources that will best meet your family’s needs. Keep a prayer journal with your kids, and even keep one for yourself. You’ll be able to go back to it and see how God has moved in the midst of your situations and difficult times.
This will build your faith! So before you break your head trying to figure it all out, pray! Pray on your own, Pray as a family, Pray over your children, Pray over your spouse, Pray over your home. There is no such thing as too much prayer. Most importantly, pray over the atmosphere of peace you are seeking to have in your home. God is listening and he will not fail you.
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Day 12 - Don't Forget to Breathe
Everyone needs to breathe. Especially those with active lifestyles, such as athletes, know the impact proper breathing has on performance and ability to compete.
But in the days we are living now, breathing is even more essential.
It is crucial not only to survive, but to endure day by day all the new struggles and changes being thrown our way.
Taking deep breaths allows us to reset and gives us a moment to take control of our emotions and thoughts. We need this, now more than ever.
If we want to have peace in our homes, we can not lash out the first emotion we feel in circumstances. We need to be able to breathe, think through it and decide what to express to the other person. There are so many unsettling things that our minds are processing right now, it can be overwhelming and make you feel justified in acting irrationally. Proverbs 25:28 says that a person who lacks self control is like a city whose walls are broken down. They are left unprotected and vulnerable. More apt to make rash decisions with an inability to think things through. And that impacts a family greatly. So let’s remember to breathe, deeply and slowly with our eyes set above.
God, the very one who breathed you into existence, has got this.
So breathe.
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Day 13 - Conversation
Now is the time for conversations. Now is the time to talk to your family.
Be together, know what’s going on with them, listen. You’ll discover things you never knew before. You’ll get to know them better than ever before. Conversations are not discussions, they are not accusations. They are a willingness to take time and hear a person out. What they are feeling, what are their struggles, what’s going on in their life...Listen without judgement, without criticism or making them feel like they are broken and you’re trying to fix them. God is the only one that can mend, heal and restore. We are called to walk with each other as brothers and sisters in the family of Christ. And in your family that means listening to what your spouse or children express. It even means listening to what they don’t say.
There are so many moments we discover when we sit back and observe. Things that our loved ones are too ashamed to express or too scared to bring up.
Love on them, hear them out, talk to them about their day.
In a time when the world seems a most isolating place, ensure your family can master the art of conversations.
This is what will give way to bring the healing God wants for his children.
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Day 14 - Give Thanks
When we are small we are taught to give thanks as a part of having manners or being polite. But giving thanks goes beyond that. When we have a heart filled with gratitude we can worship through the most difficult trial. Gratitude keeps you open to the process, it trumps resentment and overcomes the sulking victim mentality.
When you are giving thanks to God you are taking time to bring him glory and credit for the good in your life. It allows you to rejoice and have peace. If you are finding it hard to be grateful during these troubling times, start by thanking God for the little things. Select things that you would have never though to stop and give thanks for.
Like the chocolate mess your child just made, a messy kitchen, or a pile of dirty clothes. We see these as negatives, but when you change your thoughts to being thankful for it you are exercising the gratitude muscle. Things that may have caused in you a negative reaction are now being seen as opportunities to give thanks.
Thank you that my child has made a memory, thank you for the dishes that show me I have a family to cook for, thank you for the dirty piles of clothes that show us we are alive and breathing. Gratitude is a life changer. Use it, exercise it.
The more you do, the stronger and more solid it will become.
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Day 15 - Lift up Your Family
Intentionally do and intentionally say nice things to your family.
Right now all over the world families are strained. Whether they are being forced to be home under difficult conditions, or forced to be outside of the home due to essential jobs. Every person is experiencing this in a different way, and we need to be aware of how our family is coping. Taking the extra time to say or do something nice for each other in these times goes a long way. It allows a moment where your loved ones can be refreshed and reminded that they are loved, that someone notices their efforts and appreciates them, and that they are not in this alone.
There is such strength in unity.
We have a rising need to ensure that we are intentionally building up our families through the words we say and the small things we do for them. Observe and notice areas of need in your home or simply ask your family how they are dealing with the everyday changes and uncertainties. Then pray to God that he will show you ways in which you can lift up your spouse and your children. Compliment the things that are already being done. The hard work, the meals prepared, the rooms cleaned...
When you show appreciation, the other person feels recognized and motivated to do more, which will in return bless you.
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Day 16 - Asking for Forgiveness
Be willing to ask for forgiveness. If repentance is such a crucial step for salvation and your relationship with God, imagine how important it is for your family.
Apologizing does not make you weak, it makes you considerate and humble enough to admit and accept that you were wrong. There is so much hurt that can be harbored when repentance is not brought forth. Hurt that causes distance between people under the same household. People who live with each other day after day, yet seem to be growing further apart as time passes. It may be between a husband and wife, a child and a parent or even among siblings. We have a very real enemy that is out to kill and destroy. And he uses pride to bring division in a family.
When it’s members are not willing to say, “I’m sorry for what I did” or “I’m sorry for what I said”, it only makes room for resentment, anger and even hate.
Take that step towards healing and peace for your family by being willing to humbly ask for forgiveness.
When you do, even if you believe you are right, it opens up for reconciliation.
It makes room for grace, unity and restoration.
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Day 17 - Jesus, the One Who Fixes Things
Remember that Jesus is the one who fixes things.
For every issue that you and your family are going through, he is the answer.
He is the ultimate example of how we should react when going through any situation in our lives. He is the one who changes hearts, who calms the storms, who stands with us through the fire and gives it all without holding back. When we try to resolve and fix things on our own we will be overwhelmed and the situation will rise above us. But if we begin with him he will give us the peace to navigate through the most difficult trial.
Are you struggling? Are you overwhelmed? Does peace seem too elusive time and time again? Start with him and remain in him.
He will walk with you and won’t ever stray. He’s there to stay.
No matter what you have been through as a family, he understands.
No matter how broken you think your family may be, he’s there to fix it.
No matter how uncertain or how dark you family’s future may seem in your eyes, he’s there to bring light.
Just turn to him, surrender your ways to him, and hold on to him with all you’ve got for the rest of your days.
There is no defeat in him.
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Day 18 - Serve Your Family
There may be times we give our all into the work we put in for our families yet feel unappreciated or unnoticed. However God is much less concerned about the recognition you receive from your family members, and more concerned with the attitude in which you serve them with. When a child is born, a parent takes care of them not because they’re expecting praise in return, but because they love the child and care about their well being. This should be the same for your family. Serving them does not mean you walk around enslaved doing whatever they ask, it means having an attitude of love towards the things you do for them. If you are cooking for your family, you serve when you do it with joy. If you are working hard to bring an income, you serve when you ensure that income goes to meet their needs. When you clean your house, you serve when you look to have a space that is pleasant and organized for your family.
A family that serves each other creates a constant flow of love and care that fills the home. Most importantly God gave you that family, and when you serve them with love, you are serving and honoring him. No amount of work and effort escapes him, but know that he also sees the moments of grumpy attitude when we are not happy to be doing what we’re doing. Create an atmosphere of servitude in your home, and you’ll reap an abundance of blessings as a result.
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Day 19 - Resist and Stand Strong
The Bible says that when you resist the devil he will flee. However in order to do that you need to understand that the devil didn’t just decide overnight that he’d come against your family. He has been scheming, analyzing weaknesses and areas left unguarded to sneak in and begin to cause damage in a most “subtle” way. His goal is to go unnoticed until it is too late. You will not be able to live in an abundance of peace without God revealing to you the areas in your family that need attention.
And just to warn you, it may not be pretty. You may come to realize that those areas of your life and your family’s went unattended far too long. The chains are strong and the hole is deep.
But God is sovereign.
He is all powerful and there is nothing he can’t overcome.
Once these areas come to view it may be tempting to just turn the other way and ignore it. It’s going to be scary, and maybe even overwhelming. You can be sure the devil will intensify his attack towards you. But resist! Be strong in the Lord!
He will not leave you alone to battle these areas on your own. Keep your focus on him!
Resist every temptation to give up and allow things to keep going the way they were. It’s easier to hide and not fight, but there is no victory in hiding. You fight when you continue to move forward despite the growing opposition you will see and feel come against your family.
You fight when you are bold enough to stand strong and face the ugly truths with a willingness to humble yourself and go through the process.
Resist the devil and he will flee. Resist his lies that change will never come.
Resist his accusations that only seek to guilt and bring you down.
Resist him, and live in the peace and unity that God wants for you and your family.
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Day 20 - Language of Peace
Learn to speak the language of peace. There is so much growth we can bring or damage we can do with the words we use. The right words will inspire, bring life, and motivate change. The wrong words will prevent growth and cause deep hurts that take long to heal. That is why it is so crucial that in our family we learn and teach our children to speak a language of peace.
That’s achieved through using words that will stimulate calm conversations with controlled emotions. It requires a change in the vocabulary you use to communicate with your family. Words like “you always” or “you never” can cause a defensive reaction in the other person which only sends the conversation spiraling into an argument. But words like “I feel” or “I would love to see” carry a softer tone and can be used to express the same point of view.
When a family changes the way they speak to each other for the better it relieves a lot of tension that situations create. Your kids and spouse will not feel attacked when you approach them and the atmosphere in your home will change.
Changing how you speak to your family members will influence the way they speak to you and how they speak to the people they come in contact with. Speaking this language of peace takes time and it takes being intentional. If you fail or mess up just get up and try again, and again, and again. Keep going, keep renewing and keep changing until peace and love become your native tongue.
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Day 21 - Peace is Attainable
Do not let anything or anyone tell you otherwise. God is the source and it is available for every family. Jesus makes it real in our lives and the Holy Spirit reminds us every day of what we need to work on to make it happen.
Peace brings unity and strength to a family.
It allows the people in it to find delight in each other and live out the love of God in a very intimate way.
But if there is something that has the greatest and lasting impact, it’s when you live out your faith as a family.
Faith, it’s what keeps us holding on. It lifts us to believe on what we do not yet see. When we don’t see immediate results of the hard work we put in....faith. Faith faith faith. Without it it is impossible to please God. And without it you won’t achieve that peace you long for in your family.
Believe this can be real, believe God in his promise, believe the truth of his Word. Declare the blessing over the generations to come and live it out day after day.
As we remember on this Good Friday what Jesus came to do for us, meditate on his words: “All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John‬ â€14:25-27‬ â€NIV‬
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